Flying steerage

I flew out to New York last weekend, just for the weekend, to see my youngest brother get married. It was a little crazy, but considering how screwed up my sleep patterns are now that we’ve got a baby the jet lag was nothing. I flew with an airline that rhymes with Air Schmance and on the flight back I was on an A380, the new double-decker plane made by Airbus. With the exception of 9 “First Class Suites” at the front of the plane, the entire bottom deck is economy class. The upper deck has 80 “Business Class Angle Flat Seats” and 38 “Premium Economy” seats at the very back, which is funny because flying in the back of plane sucks. Lufthansa A380 interior There’s something kind of beautiful in the full-circle-ness of having what amounts to steerage class on planes now. Keep the riffraff on the bottom, away from the people that really matter. Back to the days of immigrant ships sailing across the Atlantic.

Here’s the thing that really makes me laugh about air travel nowadays, particularly with the big national carriers, but ironically with the low-cost airlines, too: The vast majority of people flying are flying in economy class (the class where you’re still paying an arm and a leg, but it’s the very least you can pay) and yet, with very little exception, every shop in the airport, every page of the in-flight magazine, every item in the duty-free catalog, is marketed to people with money, and lot’s of it. On the A380 I flew, roughly 82% of the seats are in economy. On a full plane, that means 82% of the people are paying as little as possible. But in the pocket in front of every seat is a magazine chock full of articles discussing exotic island vacations, Southeast Asian resorts where the nightly rate is twice that of an economy seat on the plane, write-ups on perfectly great cities where the only accommodations and restaurants listed are so ludicrously expensive it borders on parody. “Visit Berlin! Stay in the Soho House! The only restaurants we’ll tell you about are on Ku’damm!”

A380

I was thinking about why this is, because at first glance it seems rather illogical. The airlines say, though, and I don’t necessarily doubt the reasoning, that even though the majority of their passengers fly in economy, the first and business class passengers are where they make all their money. Judging by the ticket prices, I can see why. So, I suppose, it would follow that marketing expensive, luxury goods and vacations to passengers makes sense because the people spending money on stuff while they travel are the people with lots of money who fly first class and go for flakes of gold sprinkled on dessert that you shit out later (this was in an article in Schmitish Airways last year).
Here’s another theory, though: flying was always seen as a high-class means of travel. Back in the 60s and 70s, the jet age, the heyday of air travel, flying in a plane was a pretty amazing activity in and of itself. There was a whole aura around flying that just made it seem like the coolest, classiest thing you could do. Even into the 90s this was essentially true. That has obviously changed since the introduction of security theater, high fuel prices and airlines trying to nickel and dime you for everything they can. But the airlines and airports still want you to think flying is high-class, so they can kinda-sorta justify the insane prices of airline tickets, even in economy class, nowadays (even though you get less and less for the money). And what better way than to inundate you with luxury bullshit everywhere you look.

“Dang, Ma! They got a Gucci store and a Cartier store and a beauty salon and I can buy a bottle of perfume that costs 500 dollars! Flyin’ in these aeroplanes is fancy!”
71/365: Modes of Transport

Feeding pigeons

Last week I was out in Berlin “covering” Obama’s speech (to a crowd of 4,000 invitation-holders, no one else was allowed in – but that’s another story…). As I was walking around Potsdamer Platz, desperately trying to find somewhere to eat that wasn’t both disgusting and over-priced, I watched an old woman feeding a crowd of pigeons from what appeared to be a fresh loaf of bread. She was doing this less than 5 meters away from a homeless man panhandling.

So, to recap:

I saw someone giving food to DISGUSTING, DIRTY AIR-RATS THAT WILL LITERALLY EAT GARBAGE* right next to a HUMAN BEING WHO WAS LITERALLY ASKING FOR HELP.

Now, to be fair, I didn’t see anything before this. Maybe the old woman walked by the panhandler and wanted to help, so she went to Netto and bought a loaf of bread and offered it to the man and he was all, “Uhm, no, gross, I don’t eat white bread,” and the old woman didn’t know what to do with the loaf of bread so she just started feeding it to the pigeons right there so she didn’t have to carry it around with her.

But probably not.

I often have my own aversions to handing out money and food to panhandlers. Every time I see someone asking for change I go through the same internal debate about how much you’re ultimately helping the person, whether you should trust that they’ll use the money wisely (and what that means, and whether it’s even your business), whether giving something is just a way to make me feel better about myself and inherently puts the person on the receiving end at an inferior level, etc etc (welcome to my brain, enjoy the stay in crazytown). However, if I don’t end up giving a panhandler something, I certainly don’t follow that up by standing there for a while showing them how worthless they are in creative and subtle ways.

I’m not really sure what this situation says about anything. I’d like to draw some general conclusions about the state of humanity, given as this was happening while the German government was spending what I can only imagine were millions of Euros on absolutely insane security for Obama’s 24 hour visit to the Hauptstadt, but I’m not sure it says anything other than “some people are really shitty.”

After I’d gotten food I had some change in my pocket, and I walked back to the plaza intending to give it to the guy, but he’d moved on. The pigeons were still there enjoying their unnecessary meal.

This is a blog post

I’ve been told that this ‘web logging’ or ‘blogging’ thing is what all the cool kids do, so here goes nothing. I have a hard enough time writing a coherent e-mail or a 140-character “Tweet” (and it’ll still take me hours and multiple revisions), so I have no idea if this is going to work. I’ve never been one of those people that can just sit down and start writing and writing and writing. Which is probably a good thing given what goes on in my brain most of the time.

Sorry, I just got distracted by my cat and then someone wrote something funny on Twitter and holy shit it’s been two hours since I started this blog post.

Okay.

Wait, Edward Snowden is leaving Hong Kong? Be back in a bit.